Whether you are 9 or 99, walking up to someone new and starting a conversation can be a tricky anxiety provoking task. You may find yourself tongue-tied trying to think of that “perfect” opening line that comes across as naturally cool and confident. Though this may seem like a daunting task and a skill that you are just born with, social skills are just like any other skill and it is something you can improve with practice.
Here are a few tips to help get you started on your social skills journey.
- Pay attention to your surroundings and look for a common interest
- Often people may give us clues about what they are interested in. For example, if you see someone wearing a 1-Direction concert shirt, we can make an educated guess that they are a 1-Direction fan. Similarly, if we meet someone new at a videogame arcade, we can make an educated guess that they like to play video games.
- It is easier to talk to someone new about things you understand and like.
- Start a conversation by giving a compliment.
- That shirt is a really nice colour on you. Are you smiling? If you are, you would be one of the millions of people who enjoy receiving small compliments.
- When we give someone a compliment and ask a follow up question, we are starting the conversation on a positive note.
- Remember we want to be realistic and honest when giving a compliment, telling someone they have the most beautiful hair you have ever seen in your entire life, might have the opposite effect and make someone feel uncomfortable.
- Start a conversation and keep it flowing by asking an open-ended questions
- Asking a question related to your environment is an easy way to determine if someone is interested in having a conversation. Like you, the other person may be wanting to start a conversation but not know where to start. However, when we ask multiple closed questions, we may be limiting the others person’s ability to respond and creating a stop and go interview-esk conversation.
- When we ask open ended questions, we can give the other person the opportunity for an extended response.
- Open question: What kind of movies do you like to watch?
- Potential answer: I like comedy movies like …
- Closed question: Do you like movies?
- Potential answer: Yes / No
- Open question: What kind of movies do you like to watch?
Do you have a teen that would benefit from learning more about how to talk to others and make new friends? Have a look at our new PEERS teen social skills group running this February 2021. To learn more, have a look at our January newsletter or email reception.mytherapyspace@gmail.com
Post By Vivian Paige – Occupational Therapist